Understanding the Lives of Diagnosed Narcissists: Moving Past the Stigma.

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments can become “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are usually followed by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to disapproval from external sources. He first suspected he might have NPD after researching his symptoms online – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had independently formed that understanding on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, definitions vary what the term implies the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception linked to the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through things like seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While a significant majority of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are males, studies suggests this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I either go into a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this reaction – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked positive role models as a child. I’ve had to teach myself continuously which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that as a kid,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my relatives were belittling me during my childhood.”

Origins of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for psychological counseling via government-funded care (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of online advocates and the rise of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number